15 Red Roses and 2 Arrows

What do 15 roses and 2 arrows have in common? Together, they were my Valentine's gift to my wife Betty. These are not the traditional sort of valentine's gift that a wife would expect, but Betty was thrilled with them- especially the 2 arrows. Perhaps if you continue to read the post, by the end it will all make sense.

God has blessed us beyond anything we had ever imagined or hoped. He has blessed us with 13 amazing children. He has blessed us with 8 of these children through the union of our marriage, then He has given us 3 from the country of Colombia, and most recently God has blessed us with twin babies from Texas. We always wanted twins, but we just never imagined having them in our 50s. God's ways are always perfect and we have had much joy as the parents of this widely diverse "bakers dozen". Had we ever stopped to consider how WE could manage this, we would have been terrified and probably would have run away .... fast.

Fortunately we trusted God for His plan and His provisioning and could not imagine life without any of our children. We have come to recognize that our primary purpose in life - our ministry if you will- is to raise up children who love God and seek to serve Him. My wife Betty is the most amazing person I know. Period. She has been an amazing mom and makes being the mother of 13 look like child's play.

Back in April, we made a post to this blog that a funny thing happened on our way back to Colombia- that was the announcement that God had sent us the babies we had prayed for in a time of life that we could not expect to have babies of our own anymore. God had closed Betty's womb, but He had still given us a desire in our heart for His children. We had prayed for babies without ever expecting we would have one again. As we like to quote around our house, we often would say that with God nothing is impossible. And so as He has done before, starting with Abraham and Sarah, with Hannah - He has done with us, He saw fit to give us the desire of our hearts and sent us the twins through adoption. Isaiah's middle name is Samuel as he is a gift to us in our later years, Makenzie's middle names are Joy Elizabeth as a recognition of the joy God has given us through her life. God gave us the desire of our hearts times two! WOW! A week after we had been given the twins, we received notice from Colombia that the dossier to return to Colombia to adopt a sibling group of two girls had been approved. We had to put this approval on hold for a year because you must wait a year between adoptions with our agencies Colombia program. When we welcomed Isaiah and Makenzie into our family many asked us, are you still going to finish the second Colombia adoption. We said we didn't know because we were just basking in the joy that the two babies brought into our life.

As time went by we knew we needed to decide if we would keep our approval to return to Colombia current or did God simply want us to let go. The babies had brought us so much joy, but we could not escape the feeling that God was calling us to return to Colombia for the girls He has for us there. The family all felt this calling. Betty , Kaitlyn and Brianne felt it most strongly and always felt we would return to Colombia. For me is was not so clear. I have been struggling to discern God's will for this as the leader of our family. I knew if we surrendered to this call, God would fully take care of all the details. For me it was difficult, I remained deeply in prayer for weeks desiring to know God's will in this. I knew the hearts of Betty, Brianne and Kaitlyn. The younger kids I did not know. So what does a Dad do when he doesn't know? Well completely out of character for me --- I asked them what they thought about going through with the 3rd adoption. You would think they would say something like NO WAY. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am amazed at how God has knit these children of mine together. Here are some of the things they said:

I asked them if they had thought adoption had been a good thing for our family- They all answered with a resounding YES!

I asked them if they thought we should adopt again- YES!

I asked the first three kids we adopted if they were glad we adopted them - YES!

We asked the adopted kids if they thought we had treated them the same as the other kids - YES!

I asked my biological kids if the experience of having siblings of another race had changed how they view people who are "not like them" (we now have Hispanic children and the twins are half Hispanic and half African American). They answered:

"It made me realize we are all the same inside"

"My view hasn't changed, they are the same as me and you"

"I used to notice what race people were when I came in contact with them, now I don't even notice."

"Color doesn't matter"

"No, I always felt like it is important to look at someone not by their looks, but instead at who they are as a person."

Answers that can only encourage the heart of their dad.

I asked the first three we adopted what were the three best things about being in our family- one of them told me one of the best things was that we had never lost him. When I asked what he meant, I quickly discovered he was happy that we had never abandoned him as his biological mother had - and I wept over this answer. He has been through so much.

I asked our biological kids if there was anything from their life before adoption that they missed- NO!

One child told us he thought we should get a bigger van and adopt more kids.

I asked my older girls what did they think of adoption 4 years ago and what do you think of it now-

"I thought 4 years ago it was a fun adventure. Now that I have experience it, I know it is sometimes a difficult journey, but the end results are so worth it."

"My views about adoption have changed a lot in the last 4 years. Before we started this process I really didn't know a lot about adoption. I now know that we are all called to help care for orphans. We all need to obey God's command regarding orphans. Not only are orphans blessed through the process, but it also changes everyone involved in the process."

What are the three best things that have resulted from these two adoptions-

"Seeing other people (outside our family) being touched and helping orphans in some way"

"My faith and trust in God has been changed"

What is different in our family that you least expected-

"I never guessed how much this adoption would impact my relationship with God. I am so amazed at how God knew exactly what these kids needed and felt we were worthy to give them that."

Do you think adoption has been a good thing or a bad thing? Why?

"Adoption has been a good thing for our family. It has changed each and everyone of our lives. The kids have been accepted into a loving family and have hope for the future. We have all been blessed with the smiles, laughter, hugs ect... It also tested our faith in many ways causing us to trust and rely on God. We have also seen the amazing way that God provides for the orphans. Lastly, we have met new people (families) and developed relationships with them."

Finally, in response to my question should we adopt again, my daughter Brianne tells her Daddy: "We have love to give to more kids. They sit in Colombia with very little promise for a future. Each day these kids dream of finding a mom and dad who will love them. Yes, we all make mistakes. Maybe you aren't the "perfect" parent, but guess what- due to our fallen, sinful nature, none of us can ever be the perfect parent. You have been a wonderfully amazing Godly role model to me. I could never ask for a better dad. You are striving to obey God in the way you raise us. That is a precious gift to us kids. You are loving, caring, kind and go out of your way to make sure we are supported, loved and raised to honor God. We have love, room and resources to give. How can we say no to these kids? How can we not share our love? How can we not give some child hope for the future?" She then turned the table on me and said: "Now can I ask you what is holding you back? I would love to pray for you that God would give you a clear answer."

After reading this final answer on the final page of answered questions, I was absolutely floored. I was humbled. I was amazed at the depth of these thoughts. I was amazed at how much more clearly my children saw this than did I. If I was holding on to any doubts, at that moment I simply let go. God had used my children to show me His answer- His plan for our family. If God's plan is for us to go- then we would have it no other way. His ways are perfect. To paraphrase from His word:

I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD. Plans to profit you not to harm you. As a family we now move forward- each and every one excited for the LORD to fully reveal these plans - to reveal the children He has wanted to bless us with. WE ARE SO EXCITED- REJOICE WITH US.

Now back to the title of this post. 15 red roses and two arrows. God gave me clarity that His plan was for us to return to Colombia right before Valentine's Day. So my gifts to Betty (who waited patiently for me to clearly discern God's will for our family), were 15 red roses - one for each of our children including the two whom we have not met, and two arrows. The two arrows are symbolic of the two arrows we know God intends to lovingly place in our quiver- and now our prayer is that may He place them there soon.

Jim